Fig and Thistle

Talk about waiting until the last minute! Readathon begins in less than 10 hours and I’ve just decided to sign-up. I’ve wavered on participating because I cannot devote the entire day to reading. Readathon pretty much makes me feel like a loser. I cannot read/write/cheer/participate at the level of my book nerd idols. Nope, I’ll just be reading and skipping out on all the other frivolities.

Truly I’m using Readathon as an excuse to read. I desperately miss the thrill of uninterrupted reading; much like I miss my blogging and interacting with other bloggers. Since tomorrow is my 33rd birthday, I decided to spend the morning tucked away at the coffeeshop with a book. Happy Birthday to me. Sam will be watching the wee ones in the morning and then I plan on reading some more during naptime. Tomorrow night is reserved for Sam and I to go on a date for a couple of hours; our first date since Persy Jane’s birth!

I want to make this readathon also a blogathon. I’m not planning on throwing a bunch of posts online, but I’d like to spend some time reassessing the purpose and direction of my blog, do some outlining and scheduling and then start building up some backup posts. I hate the disconnect I feel from other bloggers. I truly miss the community of readers, makers, bakers, parents, and awesome people I’ve “met” through this blog.

Okay, here are some goals for tomorrow–

Reading:
Finish Vanity Fair
Finish Rough Magic: A Biography of Sylvia Plath
Listen to an audio book
Visit the public library

Blogging:
Decide on whether to move back to WordPress (blogger and the blogger app is increasingly glitchy.)
Outline the month of May (generally)
Work out a plan to increase my commenting on other blogs
Find someone willing to help me possibly move my blog and make it pretty in exchange for bags of coffee.

Reading is first priority, but when I start to doze I’ll switch gears and tackle some blogging issues.

I’m so ready to be back in the thick of it!

Happy Reading, Friends!

When Jonathan Safran Foer — author of Everything is Illuminated – learned he was going to be a father, he did what most new or soon to be parents do: a deep and probing critique of oneself and the world. You go through the “oh my god I’m so flawed and I’m going to screw up my kids” and “holy geez the world is a terrible place and how in the hell am I going to protect/teach/guide my kids?” Then there is the alternating happiness and fear that just makes ya crazy. Eating animals became a focal point of Foer’s transition from author to author/Dad.  Foer spent most of his life as an omnivore, but with the trendy patches of earnest, uneducated vegetarianism found in high school and college. With the birth of his child looming, Foer began to explore the ethics, practices, traditions, and consequences of eating animals.

Eating Animals grew from this research. This book is not propaganda, it is not sensational, and it is not inflammatory, anti-human or hateful. Eating Animals is a carefully researched piece of journalism that discusses how eating animals — in our modern world — is detrimental to our health, devastating to our environment, and hurtful to the health and happiness of humans. While Foer chooses a vegetarian lifestyle, he still advocates for a return to small farming and simple living. In other words, Eating Animals is mostly a call to end factory farming. What I learned in this book has horrified me, brought me to tears, and transformed my lifestyle.

Foer uses scientific research, interviews, and investigations to expose the dangers of factory farming animals. He breaks down the vocabulary used to disguise cruelty to animals, he describes the living and dying conditions of these animals, and illuminates the logical fallacies and lies that keep the world consuming meat. I’d like to share just a few of the things that continue to be on my mind regarding the human consumption of meat:

• Foer discusses how huge slaughterhouses end up killing so many animals that the workers get completely desensitized to death and begin to view the animals as not living things, but as consumables. Soon workers become indifferent to the animals; for example, many animals end up dying mid-way through the processing. It is common for cows to be dismembered, skinned, and still be alive. Birds are kicked like footballs. Baby chicks are stomped on. Pigs — an especially intelligent animal (smarter than dogs) — are particularly prone to almost sexual humiliation: bolt guns and rods inserted into the anus and vagina, snouts sliced off, piglets pulled forcefully from the vagina, etc… 
• Reading about animals being reduced to a commodity… something to be consumed by the masses… began to start weirdly aligning with my thoughts on rape culture. Chickens suffer and are crippled by genetically overgrown breasts. After all the consumer requires large breasts for consuming… the  ideal chicken breast is large and luscious and readily available. Do you see where I am going with this?
• Factory farming is devastating to humans; there is a high rate of infection and injury in slaughterhouses, workers aren’t paid very well, and the industry preys upon immigrants and the poor to provide cheap labor too scared to complain.
• Factory farming has a far reaching environmental impact. There is a lot of shit involved in factory farming and by shit… I mean shit. Chickens stewing in “fecal soup” after processing that plumps the bird and brings us lovely diseases like e. coli. Thousands and thousand of pounds of pig shit in “lagoons” that are then sprayed out over land. Cows standing in huge feed lots covered in cow shit. All the infections and diseases associated with meat have their root in animal shit. We’ve just been distanced, distracted, and deliberately lied to by the agribusiness industry. When we buy our lovely packaged meat at the store we certainly aren’t thinking about animal shit.
• The growing of grain, the genetic modification of corn, the millions of pounds of feed, the millions of gallons of gas, the millions of gallons of water it takes to feed mass amounts of animals has contributed to a devastating amount of environmental emissions. Eating animals is more environmentally detrimental than all the transportation emissions of the world COMBINED. While we’re patting ourselves on the back for taking public transportation or driving a hybrid that Big Mac is most certainly negating every well-meaning transportation decision you’ve ever made.

I feel like I’m not doing this book justice. Eating Animals is more than a plea for a vegetarian lifestyle and an end to factory farming. Foer delves into tradition and capitalism and marketing and religion and probes humanity. This is a plea for being humane. Being kind to animals is being kind to ourselves and our world. It is so much more than saving a cow. It is saving our air, our land,our health, our wallet, and our freedom from corporate domination.

My husband accuses me of turning into a lame hippie. For all my punkers, DIYers, radical feminists, etc…. the single greatest fuck-you you can give to corporate America, the patriarchy, the establishment, etc… is to eliminate the suffering of animals. Reading Eating Animals is a measured, well-researched, intriguing exploration of meat consumption in America.

In just a few weeks I will return to full-time employment and then the balancing act will truly begin. I have some major work projects coming up this summer that will keep me busy. Add to that a 13 year old active in band and wanting to do “cool” stuff this summer, a toddler with boundless energy and an infant and I think I will have plenty to fill up my summer. Oh yes, just imagine all the laundry and housework 3 kids “bless” you with on a daily basis. Sam is a huge help, but he is starting college in May and will be working full time.

This introvert mama is slightly stressing. My family fills my life with joy and my works engages my mind and challenges me, but there is that other part of myself that desperately needs to be fulfilled: the me part. I need time to read. Time to think. Time to knit. Time for a quiet walk alone. Time to interact with my husband or small groups of friends. When I neglect the “me” part of me I turn into a stressed out ball of unpleasantness. I’m a better mother/wife/friend/employee when my whole self happy and healthy.

Healthy. That is a big part of my satisfaction in life. Any mama will tell you that post-baby is a difficult time for the body. Less sleep, hormonal changes, weight gain… or if there isn’t weight gain clothing still fits differently for awhile. I’m wanting to get back to losing weight (especially since I am caring around an extra 30 pounds right now), but my approach is drastically different.

Losing weight last year was hard. I weighed everything… calculated calories…exercised… quit baking… I was consumed with losing weight. I lost weight in a healthy manner, but I was overly focused on calories. Since investigating factory farming, genetically modified foods, and agribusiness in general I find that my health goals have drastically changed. I want health and not thin.

While I would love to fit into my clothes or — better yet — have my clothes become far too big to wear, I’m more interested in being kind to my body and the world. My diet has switched to vegetarian for the past 60 days and I can honestly say that it isn’t as difficult as I thought it would be. Hope is also vegetarian now and so I’m doing my best to make sure we do this vegetarian thing the right way. In high school I was vegetarian and that meant living on mountain dew, mac’n'cheese, and canned green beans. Not cool. Hope and I have discussed ensuring we get plenty of protein and as a result Hope has discovered that she likes cheese “fancier” than Colby-Jack, a penchant for edamame, almonds, pistachios, blackbeans, and quinoa. We’re only doing soy products once a week and I try to get the non-GMO tofu only.  Sam and Atticus still eat meat at work and school, but we have purchased no meat products in the past 60 days and my grocery bill is slimming down. We’ve switched from 2% milk to whole milk from a local dairy and we are trying to get as much food as possible organic and/or local.  This is really difficult because of cost of organic foods, but between the local CSA and the approach of farmer’s market season I think we’ll do okay.

I’m sure you can tell by the rambling nature of this post that I’ve a lot on my mind and I’m juggling too many things: work, marriage, kids, housework, time for myself, health, and trying to live more kindly.  Do you know how I am fulfilling all of these goals in some capacity at once?

Dinner. I’m cooking one or two “real meals” a week (aka casseroles and such) the rest of the time it is a simple pasta or rice dish with loads of vegetables. My favorite meal is the one above: cheese, crusty bread, boiled eggs, local honey or homemade jam, and then veggies. Not pictured are the strawberries for dessert.  Follow up with a delicious cup of coffee and I’m happy. It takes next to no time to assemble, the kids have fun trying different things, there are hardly any dirty dishes, it is healthy and balanced and I have time for some knitting while I drink my coffee and the baby is happy. No hour spent in the kitchen cooking and then cleaning.

Simplicity is so delicious. I expect more spring/summer meals like the one above and I look forward to it.

I love this weekly reflection of the week from SouleMama:

“{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.”

I had a pretty rotten weekend filled with a sick baby, a rambunctious tot, a teen out of town, an exhausted husband, and a wicked sinus infection for me.

I’ve seen this meme around the interwebs, but haven’t participated until now. Today I read it over at Capricious Reader and thought the perfect blog idea for an exhausted mom outta ideas:

Time: 10:13 pm, Monday

Place: At the dining room table

Eating:  Just ate some leftover macaroni and cheese and come left over vegetables. This nursing two kids makes me so hungry in the evening. 

Drinking: Water, but I wish I were drinking a perfect cafe au lait from some very dark French pressed coffee.  With a wee bit of nutmeg on top.

Reading: Vanity Fair. I am enjoying the book, but it isn’t a good pick for midnight nursings. My brain cannot focus so I read celebrity gossip on my smart phone.

Watching: Nearly done rewatching North and South. I’m also still watching a few episodes of X Files with Sam each week.

Listening: I’m listening to the dryer bang around and the TV in the other room. Sam is watching Justice League Unlimited cartoons and each episode has terrible 80s guitar music.

Pondering: Coffee, book shelves, sick babies

Blogging: I must get back in the swing of blogging and commenting. Alas, I’m very lonely right now and I miss the vibrancy of the blogging community.

Hating: Doctors not listening to me and discounting natural healing in favor of harsh medications.

Anticipating: Sleep!

Worrying: Again sick baby. Again money. Again “what will I do with my life?”

Or I guess we could call this night scenes. 

10:20pm fall asleep in the living room while husband holds the cranky baby.

11:00pm get up and go to bed

1:30am change baby’s diaper, wipe her nose (why is there dried blood on her nose?!), nurse.

2:15am baby coughs and then regurgitates a gallon of breastmilk.

2:16am strip naked in the livingroom and pile up the wet things including blanket, boppy, baby clothes, etc…

2:17am change baby’s diaper and lament presence of mucous. Still naked.

2:20am scrub puked milk out of livingroom chair.  Still naked.

2:25am wipe down self and put on pjs.

2:30am eat a handful of almonds and a banana. Nurse baby… again

2:50 put baby in bed.

2:52am cat starts running in the house and wailing.

2:55am put cat in the basement

2:57am go back to bed.

5:00am wake to tot running through the house yelling, “I awake!”

5:10am change tot’s diaper, read “bubbles, bubbles, everywhere” and make Coleridge references lost on the toddler.

5:20am sing “you are my sunshine” a half dozen times.

5:30am tot back asleep. Crawl into bed.

5:40am baby wakes up.

I’d like for people to think that because I believe in attachment parenting that I was cool with this sleepless night.  Maybe picture me waking sleepy, bemused, and with a smile.  Nope.  I was loving, but I did utter the biggest string of profanities into my pillow. I love my babies, but a sure miss sleep.

April will be a wonderful month; I can feel that good things are in store. This month has always felt like a time for new beginnings. I don’t know if this is because it is my birthday month or if it is due to Georgia weather starting to act like Springtime proper, but April is off to a great start.

Hope is on spring break and so Persy and I had company. We ran some errands, watched a little TV, went out to the coffee shop and Hope held Persy so I could thoroughly sweep and vacuum nearly every floor.  Ah, Spring!

This will also be my last month on maternity leave. I have to admit that I am looking forward to going back to work. Persy is a lovely baby, but I don’t do well functioning in temporary arrangements. I’ve always loved my schedules and lists and orderly ways and this temporary SAHM is beginning to drive me crazy. Basically, if I knew I would be a permanent SAHM I’d be planning a garden, buying a yogurt maker, finding mommy groups and otherwise organizing my SAHM work day. But I know this is just temporary and I’ll be back at work soon and therefore my brain jumps to work and preparing Persy for daycare. I’m not at all worried about Persy going to daycare; our university’s daycare is exceptional and Atticus has adored attending. Miss Laura will be Persy’s “teacher” and she cared for Atticus and spoiled him rotten. I know that Persy will be loved on all day. In addition, many parents pull their kids out for the summer. During Atticus’s first summer in daycare there were two teachers and four babies; that’s an awesome teacher to baby ratio!

I am planning on making the most of April; here are some goals, plans and other aspirations for the month:

– I’ve been vegetarian for a month now and I don’t see me ever going back to being a meat eater at this point in time. Hope is also vegetarian and Sam and Atticus are eating vegetarian at home. Atticus doesn’t really care for meat that much and so I don’t even think he is getting that much at school. I’m looking forward to exploring more recipes and to the Athens Farmers’ Market opening! Our farmer’s market doesn’t open until late May so we are going to make the 45 minute drive at least twice this month. If funds allow we will also grab a bite to eat at my favorite restaurant, The Grit!
– I have two bookish events on the horizon; World Book Night and the 24-hour Readathon. My reading has been lax of late, but I’m hoping it will pick up. Maybe I can finish something this month?
–I swear I will finish Persy’s baby blanket this month.
–Blogging! I plan on making a fierce comeback to blogging.
–Unplugging? I do plan on increasing my blogging, but I am seriously considering ditching my smart phone for a plain old phone for just calls and texting. I waste time on Facebook and other sites when I could be READING. Do I really need to pay what I’m paying to update Twitter, like images on Instagram, and scroll mindlessly through Pinterest?  Hummm…. we’ll see… the jury is still out on this idea.
–Weight loss. I gained so much weight this last pregnancy. I don’t know how; pregnant and nursing four times a day and I still gained 58 pounds. I gained back all the weight I lost last year plus some. I spent February and March healing from surgery and establishing my milk supply and now April is going to kick some of this fat ass to the curb. I’ve lost 38 pounds since Persy was born, but I am still 5.8 pounds over my pre weight loss weight from last year. GRRRRRRRRR……..

I hope everyone else has bright and happy plans for April and (fingers crossed) I expect you’ll be seeing more of me around the blogosphere.